What does lonely feel like
In fact, solitude actually has a number of important mental health benefits, including allowing people to better focus and recharge. Loneliness is a state of mind linked to wanting human contact but feeling alone.
People can be alone and not feel lonely, or they can have contact with people and still experience feelings of isolation.
Contributing factors to loneliness include situational variables, such as physical isolation, moving to a new location, and divorce.
The death of someone significant in a person's life can also lead to feelings of loneliness. Additionally, it can be a symptom of a psychological disorder such as depression.
Depression often causes people to withdrawal socially, which can lead to isolation. Research also suggests that loneliness can be a factor that contributes to symptoms of depression. Loneliness can also be attributed to internal factors such as low self-esteem. People who lack confidence in themselves often believe that they are unworthy of the attention or regard of other people, which can lead to isolation and chronic loneliness.
Personality factors may also play a role. Introverts , for example, might be less likely to cultivate and seek social connections, which can contribute to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Loneliness has a wide range of negative effects on both physical and mental health , including:. If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.
These are not the only areas in which loneliness takes its toll. For example, lonely adults get less exercise than those who are not lonely. Their diet is higher in fat, their sleep is less efficient, and they report more daytime fatigue. Loneliness also disrupts the regulation of cellular processes deep within the body, predisposing lonely people to premature aging.
People who feel less lonely are more likely to be married, have higher incomes, and have higher educational status. High levels of loneliness are associated with physical health symptoms, living alone, small social networks, and low-quality social relationships. Statistics suggest that loneliness is becoming increasingly prevalent, particularly in younger generations. The rise of the internet and ironically, social media, are partially to blame. Experts believe that it is not the quantity of social interaction that combats loneliness, but the quality.
Having a few close friends is enough to ward off loneliness and reduce the negative health consequences associated with this state of mind. Research suggests that the experience of actual face-to-face contact with friends helps boost people's sense of well-being. One study suggests that loneliness may actually be contagious.
Mental health counselor Ashley Turner told the UnLonely Project that "l oneliness is one of the biggest drives toward overeating. We naturally turn to food to nurture and nourish ourselves. It is the most obvious way to fill ourselves up. However, when we are lonely, what we are actually craving is a little personal interaction, intimacy, love or friendship, someone to share our lives with.
Loneliness can lead to a weakened immune system , leaving you susceptible to colds and other viruses. It can become a vicious cycle, as staying at home with a cold will isolate you from others, in turn increasing loneliness. A study from UCLA found that the immune system of lonely people focuses on bacteria rather than viruses , meaning that lonely people are more susceptible to viral infections.
Loneliness can also lead to an increased risk of heart disease, arthritis, Type 2 diabetes, dementia , high blood pressure, inflammation, and even issues with learning and memory, and is said to be a bigger health risk than obesity or smoking. World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options. Get the Insider App. Click here to learn more. A leading-edge research firm focused on digital transformation.
Everyone needs alone time, but experts agree that we need a considerable amount of human interaction and a few deep, meaningful connections to feel that ever-elusive thing known as contentment. Studies show that those who complain or, more gently put, share their issues with a friend about their problems feel physical relief after commiserating.
An excess of cortisol is something your system might not handle well, so talk out your issues with a friend before you bottle up the problems and get overwhelmed. When your body responds to stress by activating fight-or-flight responses, it becomes harder to shut down at the end of the day and rest, even if you desperately want to just be alone and crash. Being part of a social species is kind of a bitch, huh? Unless you have plans to be productive in your solitude, try leaving your apartment to meet a friend or just walk in a populated place, like a park, to take a break from your brain.
While the hormone cortisol fights inflammation, the fight-or-flight response that loneliness causes drives your body to produce norepinephrine, which actually elevates your white blood cell production and shuts down your bodies natural viral defenses. In the long-term, lonely people are more likely to fall victim to issues associated with chronic inflammation: cancer, sensitivity to viruses, and infection, to name a few.
Try exercising in a gym, taking a workout class, or just go for a jog in the park to be social and healthy at the same damn time. Furthermore, the same lab discovered that just the memory of being socially excluded is enough to make people feel colder. Simply put, loneliness can give you the chills. According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology by Cacioppo and colleagues, lonesomeness can be contagious.
In fact, you're 52 percent more likely to feel lonely if someone you're directly connected to is lonely as well, says Cacioppo. When you're feeling empty or isolated, you may behave in more hostile and awkward ways toward another person, who in turn behaves a bit negatively toward someone else, and so on.
The result can be an outbreak of social isolation and rejection. You know all about your cousin's recent jaunt to Hawaii — but not because she told you about it; you saw her pictures on Facebook. According to Facebook, user spend an average of fifty minutes each on its Facebook, Instagram, and Messenger platforms. When you're feeling alone, you might spend more time posting on social networking sites or online game forums than actually picking up that phone and arranging a lunch or dinner date.
But having a lot of Facebook friends or Twitter followers won't do much to stave off loneliness. Instead, research shows it can exacerbate the problem.
Next time loneliness sets in, Cacioppo suggests using these sites to get in touch with your old friends — instead of just gawking over their wedding photos. If you can count them up without much hesitation traffic jams, terrible weather, rude waitresses , that doesn't necessarily mean your stars were crossed this month — instead, it could point to loneliness.
According to Cacioppo, who has studied the effects of loneliness on our health and stress levels , feeling alone often means you spend too much time ruminating. Research published in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science showed that people who reported being lonely also reported more sources of stress and childhood adversity in their lives.
Have you packed on the pounds? Loneliness and weight gain often go hand in hand, possibly because we tend to compensate for our blues with food. In addition, loneliness can zap motivation — keeping us on the couch instead of on the treadmill. And that means it may also be a predictor of health problems, such as high blood pressure and unhealthy cholesterol levels , says Cacioppo.
But can socializing help you stay skinny? Perhaps, according to a report published in the journal Cell Metabolism.
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